The Disney On Ice Fiasco

We're a Disney family. We love the movies, the characters, the music, the shows and of course... Disneyland. Last night we got the chance to go see the "Let's Celebrate" Disney On Ice Show. We were excited all day, but had to work on our son because he had no idea what and "ice show" was. This will be one to remember.

We left our house almost an hour and a half early. It was in Long Beach, which is about 20 minutes from us here in West LA. We clearly accounted for traffic, or so I thought. It took about an hour to get there and an hour to park. The line to park was so bad I was kinda hoping they'd postpone the show since it seemed like half the audience was out there trying to park. At the parking booth, it was cash or check only. Neither of which we had. Lovely. The guy was super awesome though and said he wouldn't ruin it for the kids so he let us go without charging us. I wonder now if he knew what was in store for us in the coming hours.

Finally parked, fought through the crowds and found our seats. It was 7:58 when we sat. The show started at 7:30. So much for leaving early. Two things went through my head as we sat there settling in. 1) "I remember that story my Mom always tells me about me throwing up on her during a fireworks show, I'm so happy my kids have never done anything like that" and 2) "Well, since it's the baby's bedtime right now I will feed her a bottle and then she is free to fall asleep as she pleases". Apparently, the "watch what you think about fairy" was listening in. I made the bottle, and fed her. She decided she'd eat 6 of the 8 ounces. When she was done I got situated and had her stand on my lap to see the show. Immediately following (and just 15 minutes after sitting), warm creamy fluid was projecting out of a little baby's throat and all over all four of us, the people in front of us, the floor around us, inside the diaper bag, and on everything we had with us. That 6 ounces turned into 18 ounces somehow and it was pouring out of her mouth and her nose. As I sat there with no other choice but to wait for the shower to be over, the sound of a 3 year old gagging faintly filled my right ear, though I wasn't thinking clearly enough at the time to figure that out. With a quick Daddy distraction, our son was detoured away from puking himself, and tuned back into the show. All the while... no one around us knew what was going on (we were in the back row).

Baby wipes cleaned off the majority of the mess from our legs, and I called for a cleanup and I walked briskly to the nearest bathroom. All the while, thanking myself for having put on so many layers and always bringing a change of clothes for the baby. I was super thrilled in one way, because I had to use the restroom since before we got there and this was my chance. As soon as I was done with the baby I was going to use the bathroom myself before we made our way back to our seats. Well, I was almost done changing the baby when intermission began and a flood of women flocked to wait in line. There went my chance.

Mostly clean, reeking to high heaven, and wondering why she puked in the first place.... I sat back down, apologized to the people around us and proceeded to finish the show. When it was over, we all took our chance to use the restrooms since everyone was leaving. First the boys, then me. On my turn I hand over the baby. When I come out I am greeted with, "Now, she's pooping." Lovely, but we're leaving, so let's go. Walking through the building, both my hands and my stomach grow increasingly warm and slippery. Soon the smell saturates the air around me. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? This insane amount of fluid coming out the the OTHER end was leaking out of her disposable diaper, through her clothes, and all over me. I had no choice but to walk, fast, back to the van to change her again.

The thing about my van is, there is no interior light thanks to my son and a penny incident. So, there I sit in the van, working by flashlight, to change the baby and clean up this obscene amount of poop she created. I took off my shirt and traded it out for an only slightly puke covered sweater. I got the baby comfortable, we get in front, and took off. Thankfully, the trip home didn't take as long as the trip there because, our son cried the whole way home about how he didn't want to go home, he wanted to see the ice show. Weeeeeee!

I know people try to make light of these things by saying, "The joys of parenthood". We certainly had our share of joys last night. The best part is that we both stayed really calm the whole time. I mean, it sucked, but we were laughing about it. No wait, the best part has to be that my little girl got puke on everything in arms length.... EXCEPT her SHOES!! haha.



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