It's been a week already since we had our daughter. We are blessed to have had a boy and then a girl. Once I got pregnant, I felt inside of me that I would only have the two children. I think it is the right number for me to stay sane and give my kids the very best of life. It has been hard this last week though, to look into her eyes and think... this is the last time I will do this.
On the one hand though, I am finding I am so much more involved in just enjoying her presence. I was very much into my son during this stage (and pretty much every other stage) but I have begun to realize that with my first child, I worried more than perhaps I enjoyed. I was so obsessed with making everything perfect. ONLY breast milk, no chemicals, wash your hands first and constantly, make sure everyone else gets to see him when they want to, etc etc. I spent a lot of time worrying about what others felt about me and my parenting. I worried all the time about doing things right with him, and I even got into many fights with my husband when things didn't turn out perfect.
What I have since learned in the 2+ years our son has been in our world, is that it's OK to relax. Your children will still turn out fine if they are exposed to a little dirt or germs. They will still love you more than anyone else, even if you let them spend lots of time with other people. They will still listen to and copy your own words and actions no matter what anyone else says to them or teaches them. And if for some reason you have to feed them formula, let them cry, or you don't read their favorite book before bed.... they will be just fine and still love you. This time around I am far more relaxed (starting with the pregnancy) and so I feel I am more in the now and able to watch her grow and change. I can appreciate it all instead of worry about it all.
I also have an issue with needing the whole house to be clean all the time. I am learning to let go of that and allow my husband to help out whenever he can. I am learning to not be in control of everything, and allow my son to make a mess with his toys. I think I have learned to calm down enough to focus on the special parts of life, instead of the mundane tasks. Also, knowing this is the last time I plan to have a child, I think I am in a better mental state to stop and sit down to enjoy my kids instead of saying, "Chores then love".
Overall, what this baby has brought me is true balance. I feel complete, I feel loved, and I feel like I am right where I should be mentally and emotionally, in order to give my kids, myself and my husband the best life possible.
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On the one hand though, I am finding I am so much more involved in just enjoying her presence. I was very much into my son during this stage (and pretty much every other stage) but I have begun to realize that with my first child, I worried more than perhaps I enjoyed. I was so obsessed with making everything perfect. ONLY breast milk, no chemicals, wash your hands first and constantly, make sure everyone else gets to see him when they want to, etc etc. I spent a lot of time worrying about what others felt about me and my parenting. I worried all the time about doing things right with him, and I even got into many fights with my husband when things didn't turn out perfect.
What I have since learned in the 2+ years our son has been in our world, is that it's OK to relax. Your children will still turn out fine if they are exposed to a little dirt or germs. They will still love you more than anyone else, even if you let them spend lots of time with other people. They will still listen to and copy your own words and actions no matter what anyone else says to them or teaches them. And if for some reason you have to feed them formula, let them cry, or you don't read their favorite book before bed.... they will be just fine and still love you. This time around I am far more relaxed (starting with the pregnancy) and so I feel I am more in the now and able to watch her grow and change. I can appreciate it all instead of worry about it all.
I also have an issue with needing the whole house to be clean all the time. I am learning to let go of that and allow my husband to help out whenever he can. I am learning to not be in control of everything, and allow my son to make a mess with his toys. I think I have learned to calm down enough to focus on the special parts of life, instead of the mundane tasks. Also, knowing this is the last time I plan to have a child, I think I am in a better mental state to stop and sit down to enjoy my kids instead of saying, "Chores then love".
Overall, what this baby has brought me is true balance. I feel complete, I feel loved, and I feel like I am right where I should be mentally and emotionally, in order to give my kids, myself and my husband the best life possible.
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2 comments:
First of all, congratulations on your new baby.
I found your blog through Follow Me Back Tuesday. I'm following you on Google friend and Twitter.
~Have a great day
Congratulations on your darling daughter! I have three sons. I kept waiting for the daughter to come but...now I'll have to wait for a granddaughter. The cleaning thing is a tough one! Good luck with your letting go! If you can truly do that in life, you'll be happy!
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