I have this theory about raising children. I feel that it is vital to their self confidence to be able to choose things for themselves. Especially when it has everything to do with them. Which toy they play with, what clothing they wear, what friends they like, etc. I have been practicing this with my son for the whole almost three years he has been alive now, and what I have created is a happy, decisive, and creative child.
I've been in quite a few situations already, in which I am watching a parent make decisions for their children, influencing what they want, and/or pressuring the kids into doing what the parents want. On the other hand, I have also been in a few situations where people are shocked that I let my son choose for himself. Not only because I give him so much control, but for letting him choose what he does. Prime example here: We went to Olvera Street in Downtown LA and while we were there we decided to get him a little guitar. We made sure he got to choose which one he wanted, as they have many options in colors. Although he could have been i
nfluenced into getting a "normal" looking one, or a "boyish" one, we let our son follow his hearts desires (as this would be a toy for him after all) and he went ahead and chose a beautiful purple guitar with pink and white flowers on it.
Many have shot dirty looks or comments when he makes these so called "girly" choices. I personally, hold no prejudice against colors, designs, or pictures. I'm not going to put a dress on the boy, but if he likes pink let him wear pink. It's just a color. Likewise, if our daughter wants a Mohawk, then she will have one.
I feel proud that my son is allowed to make his own choices, and I feel confident he will grow up knowing what he wants and go for it, without letting others pressure him into doing or getting things he isn't entirely happy with.
I've been in quite a few situations already, in which I am watching a parent make decisions for their children, influencing what they want, and/or pressuring the kids into doing what the parents want. On the other hand, I have also been in a few situations where people are shocked that I let my son choose for himself. Not only because I give him so much control, but for letting him choose what he does. Prime example here: We went to Olvera Street in Downtown LA and while we were there we decided to get him a little guitar. We made sure he got to choose which one he wanted, as they have many options in colors. Although he could have been i
nfluenced into getting a "normal" looking one, or a "boyish" one, we let our son follow his hearts desires (as this would be a toy for him after all) and he went ahead and chose a beautiful purple guitar with pink and white flowers on it.Many have shot dirty looks or comments when he makes these so called "girly" choices. I personally, hold no prejudice against colors, designs, or pictures. I'm not going to put a dress on the boy, but if he likes pink let him wear pink. It's just a color. Likewise, if our daughter wants a Mohawk, then she will have one.
I feel proud that my son is allowed to make his own choices, and I feel confident he will grow up knowing what he wants and go for it, without letting others pressure him into doing or getting things he isn't entirely happy with.
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2 comments:
It is best to let them choose for themselves - well, at least most of the time.
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I completely agree with this idea. I want to give my children the freedom to make choices that are controlled to a certain extent. Like do you want this or that & let them choose between 2 options. But I also want them to be allowed to pick what kinds of toys or games or clothes that they like. If your son is liking girlier things, whats the big deal? I would think it's more important to make him feel like what he likes is significant as opposed to making him feel like what he likes is wrong or stupid.
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