I had my dreaded WIC appointment today. Going there is never fun. Waiting around for a couple hours, while you deal with several different people who talk to you like you are an idiot about raising kids, even if you do bring along your happy, healthy toddler. This time, I had an experience that, although stupidly funny, really got me thinking.
While talking to my "nutrition consultant", she had to ask questions about how we were feeding the baby. I told her I mostly breastfed, but in the evenings she is just too hungry and so I supplement with a bottle of formula. She takes about 2 ounces after breastfeeding, and to this the lady responds, "Babies don't know when they are hungry, they only cry when they need to be held by their mother". Oh, really? Babies don't know when they are hungry huh? I told her, "When my baby shows the signs of being hungry, one of the classes you made me sit through three months ago, such as turning her head looking for a boob, sucking on her hand, and tongue thrusting, then I feed her more. She stops eating when she is no longer hungry." She goes on to tell me (and show me a display) of how a newborn baby only has a stomach the size of a small ball and they can't eat more than 2 ounces at a time. My response, "Well, take into consideration I do have a larger than average baby" (She weighed in at 12.10 lbs today at 6 weeks old) Her reply? "All babies are the same". Wow, this woman has got to be joking with me. How does SHE work for this government program promoting good health and parenting and yet she says such false statements as these??
I started to tell her how I didn't agree with what she was saying, and then, as many people older than me do, she shoots back with how she knows not only from her training, but from her own experience as a mother and grandmother. Oh bother! Pulling out the "I'm more experienced than you, youngin'" card. Well, I ended up biting my tongue and leaving without much else said. Sure, she thinks I'm an idiot, and I feel the exact same way about her. We clearly had two different styles going on... I mean, she even dissed my pouch sling to say her daughter's wrap around carrier was way better. WTH!? Baby wearing is baby wearing isn't it? I didn't even pull out the, "Yeah, well we cloth diaper!" LoL.
What I got to thinking about was at what point do you decide whether to stand up for your parenting ways, while others criticize it, or choose to just let them speak their nonsense and let it flow in one ear and out the other. I suppose, had it been someone I knew, I would defend my points a little more so they knew where I stood and not to mess with me any more about it. On the other hand, I really despise how many people in this world try to change others and/or neglect to realize some people do things differently and that's just OK, so leave it be.
How do you respond to people trying to "force" their ways on you about parenting?
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While talking to my "nutrition consultant", she had to ask questions about how we were feeding the baby. I told her I mostly breastfed, but in the evenings she is just too hungry and so I supplement with a bottle of formula. She takes about 2 ounces after breastfeeding, and to this the lady responds, "Babies don't know when they are hungry, they only cry when they need to be held by their mother". Oh, really? Babies don't know when they are hungry huh? I told her, "When my baby shows the signs of being hungry, one of the classes you made me sit through three months ago, such as turning her head looking for a boob, sucking on her hand, and tongue thrusting, then I feed her more. She stops eating when she is no longer hungry." She goes on to tell me (and show me a display) of how a newborn baby only has a stomach the size of a small ball and they can't eat more than 2 ounces at a time. My response, "Well, take into consideration I do have a larger than average baby" (She weighed in at 12.10 lbs today at 6 weeks old) Her reply? "All babies are the same". Wow, this woman has got to be joking with me. How does SHE work for this government program promoting good health and parenting and yet she says such false statements as these??
I started to tell her how I didn't agree with what she was saying, and then, as many people older than me do, she shoots back with how she knows not only from her training, but from her own experience as a mother and grandmother. Oh bother! Pulling out the "I'm more experienced than you, youngin'" card. Well, I ended up biting my tongue and leaving without much else said. Sure, she thinks I'm an idiot, and I feel the exact same way about her. We clearly had two different styles going on... I mean, she even dissed my pouch sling to say her daughter's wrap around carrier was way better. WTH!? Baby wearing is baby wearing isn't it? I didn't even pull out the, "Yeah, well we cloth diaper!" LoL.
What I got to thinking about was at what point do you decide whether to stand up for your parenting ways, while others criticize it, or choose to just let them speak their nonsense and let it flow in one ear and out the other. I suppose, had it been someone I knew, I would defend my points a little more so they knew where I stood and not to mess with me any more about it. On the other hand, I really despise how many people in this world try to change others and/or neglect to realize some people do things differently and that's just OK, so leave it be.
How do you respond to people trying to "force" their ways on you about parenting?
Top Mommy Blogs - Vote for us @ TopMommyBlogs.Com!
12 comments:
Oh boy! I just looooove those types of comments too! Usually when I get them I try to be the bigger person & just keep my mouth shut. It's so much less stressful for me if I just let it go.
Oh, those are the worst times. I'm beginning to feel like it's not worth it if the other person has clearly made up their mind. I think that letting it go in this situation was probably best, although you certainly didn't deserve to be spoken to that way!
WOW! All babies are the same!? Then wouldn't parenting be much easier! Because I'm sure if they are all the same, someone would have written a very effecting parenting manual by now that you hope they'll give you when you're leaving the hospital to take your newborn home for the first time. WOW!
If it's someone I know [aka my monster in law] I fight. If it's someone that's not an active part of my life, I might state my beliefs and just leave it at that.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this lady! How frustrating!
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Eloise
http://mommy2twogirls.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/furygirl3132
I think every situation is different, an you will know when you need to stand up for yourself. You know your child and no one else is going to know your baby as well as you do. It is good to listen and take advice, but I think we all know what is best when it really comes down to it! Have a great night!
Mama Hen
Oh I don't give a hoot to what other people said about my parenting style. They tell me I can't breastfeed, I don't have breastmilk, my baby is crying and needs to have formula NOW NOW NOW, my baby needs to sleep in the cradle, my baby needs to have pacifier, yada yada yada yawnnnnnnn... I don't care.
Today, I'm still breastfeeding my 16 months old boy, there's not a speck of formula powder in our house since day 1, my boy uses the pacifier less than 5 times all this while, my boy does not need to rely on a cradle to go to sleep and what does all those people say to that? Nothing!
You do what you think is right. It's your child not theirs. They can do and say whatever they want... to their own child.
Btw, thanks for dropping by and commenting. You should check out my latest post just up 1 hour ago. I'm getting my 1st period after 25 months... shucks... I dreaded this day... I hope I can still go on breastfeeding despite this menstruation....
( I'm a full-time mummy )
following you from the blog hop!
When someone tries to force their parenting ways upon me...I get this from all my siblings even though I've been a parent for 16 years and they have been parents for 5 years and less...I just kindly tell them what works for you might not always work for us.
Or I kindly thank them for their suggestion. :-)
I am now your newest follower from the Friday Blog hop.
Thank you for your kind comment today! I hope you have a great night!
Mama Hen
oh my goodness - that lady is loop-de-do! Well, as for me, I talk a good game when I am alone in the car with my husband, but in reality, I just bite my tongue and sit and stew in silence... until of course I'm back in the car with hubby and then I let that person have it! Too bad by then they are out of earshot, but it makes me feel better... you know, the Bible has a phrase for these kinds of people: "a fool...will despise the wisdom of your words!" You know what's best for your baby! :)
But thanks for sharing such a crazy story! Hard to believe people like that have jobs! :)
Um wow. That is absolutely not true. Isis is 6 months old & has eaten at least 4 oz for months, but normally 7, sometimes even 9! She's a big baby, too. But it is absolutely not true that they only eat like 2 oz.
I've found the "smile & nod" works for me. I don't even have the energy or interest in arguing. Nobody spends as much time with my baby as I do & it would be absurd to think that they know better than me. I have a wonderful pediatrician who has backed me up every step of the way.
I know it would be hard to ignore someone in a position like this woman in your situation, but I'd say just smile & nod & then do what you know is best. If your daughter is still hungry, feed her!!
I know the "polite" thing to do is Smile and Nod, but OMG seriously lady? Who does she think the mom is?? You for sure, know your baby better than this lady, you know when's she's hungry, full, sleepy, etc. better than anyone else! This lady is just on a power trip!
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